Posted by: Sharique | June 19, 2006

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Posted by: Sharique | June 13, 2006

My darling :)

She is my latest crush and perhaps the only one I would write here on my blog. She is a darling. I kind of fell in love with her the moment I saw her. A wonderful companion to be with… She has this extraordinary quality of handling simultaneous processes at the same time. So no matter how frustrated I am, she is always lively and smart which soothes me. I can dump all my worries on her and she because of her diligence can take care of them. I adore her and take good care of her. Never forcing things on her and always taking care of her needs. We have a great coordination. She has a caring attitude and that why I always rely on her for all my woes. She is a patient listener and blessed with a wonderful vocabulary. She is smart and sexy. Wanna look at her just scroll down…..

dsc00332.JPG

she is Lenovo 3000 N 100 laptop 🙂 she is powered my a dual core processor and has a great connectivity

see more of her 😛

 

Posted by: Sharique | June 5, 2006

In what state will you die?

Verily, those who disbelieve and die while they are disbelievers (in
the state of disbelief), upon them is the curse of Allaah, the
angels and the whole of mankind.

Part 1.

Allaah, the Exalted, said:

"O you who believe, have taqwaa of Allaah and do not die except
while you are Muslims (in a state of submission to Him)."

In every Muslim's mind a question should arise upon reciting or
reading this verse. This verse should make everyone think:

IN WHAT STATE WILL I DIE?

Death is something that cannot be avoided and will eventually come
to every being, Allaah, the Sublime, said:

"Every soul shall taste death."

He also said:

"Everything upon it (the earth) will perish."

He also said:

"Wherever you may be death will overtake you, even if you were in
towers, built high and strong."

The disbelievers love this life so much that they are even willing
to have their bodies frozen with the hope that in the future they
may be brought back to life. It is strange that this hope and
expectation does not lead them to believe in the plausibility of the
resurrection. They think they can cheat that moment of death!

Yet there are others who wish they could live for a thousand years
amassing wealth, children and belongings,

Death will certainly come to them all and also to us but,

IN WHAT STATE WILL WE DIE?

Will we die for example:

1. Bankrupt, devoid of any actions, never having done any good, or
tried to do good or even had a desire to do good?

Until when death comes to one of them he says: "O my Lord, send me
back so that I may do good in that which I neglected." But no! It is
only a word that he utters and between them is a partition (barzakh)
until the day that they are raised up.

2. Or will we die having gathered riches, wealth, status, power yet
finding ourselves in the situation which Allaah has described:

The sinner would desire to ransom himself from the punishment of
that Day by his children. And his wife and his brother. And his
kindred who sheltered him. And all that are on the earth, so that it
might save him. By no means, verily it will be the Fire of Hell!

and also:

But as for the one who is given his record in his left hand, he will
say: "I wish that I had not been given my record! And that I had
never known, how my account is? I wish that it would have been my
end (death). My wealth has not availed me. My power and arguments
(to defend myself) have gone from me! It will be said: "Seize him
and fetter him. Then throw him in the Blazing Fire. Then fasten him
with a chain whereof the length is seventy cubits. Verily he used
not to believe in Allaah the Mighty, and urged not the feeding of
the poor. So no friend has he here this Day, nor any food except
filth from the washing of wounds, (which) none will eat except the
khaati'oon (sinners, those who fall into the wrong disbelievers
etc…)

3. Or will we die in a state of negligence. Having been neglectful
of our duty to Allaah and at the same time finding fault with and
mocking other Muslims? Mocking at them for sticking to the commands
of Allaah, the Sunnah of His Messenger (S.A.W.S.), laughing at their
appearance and so on…Allaah said:

Or that the soul may say: Alas, my grief that I was undutiful to
Allaah (i.e. I have not done what Allaah has ordered me to do) and I
was indeed among those who mocked (at the truth)

4. Or will we die in the midst of the kuffar, having become like
them, adopted their habits, customs and ways of behaving, having
nurtured our children upon their ways and customs?

And you dwelt in the dwellings of men who wronged themselves and it
was clear to you how We dealt them. And we put forth many parables
for you.

And Umar (ra) said: "Whoever lives in the land of the pagans and
disbelievers and celebrates their festivals and behaves like them
until he dies, he will be resurrected with them on the Day of
Judgement."

5. Or will we die in a state of kufr, disbelief, or doubt?

Verily those who believe, then disbelieve then believe, then
disbelieve then increase in disbelief, never will Allaah forgive
them and nor guide them to a (correct) way.

This is a great danger and many Muslims have already fallen into it.
Some have actually been led to and fallen into disbelief.

Believing there is a better way than Islam is disbelief
Practicing magic is disbelief
Not treating the Jews and Christians or pagans as disbelievers, or
doubting in their concepts is disbelief
Acting on Islam but out of dislike in the heart is disbelief
Thinking that Islam or the Sunnah is outmoded, outdated, of no
relevance to the modern times is disbelief

And there are many other such matters which constitute or lead to
disbelief

Allaah said:

Verily, those who disbelieve and die while they are disbelievers (in
the state of disbelief), upon them is the curse of Allaah, the
angels and the whole of mankind.

6. Or will we die for example in a state of HEEDLESSNESS, oblivion,
like the animals?

The Exalted said:

And who is more unjust than the one is reminded of the signs of His
Lord and then turns away from them.

And do not be like those who forgot Allaah so Allaah made them
forget their own souls.

Closer and closer to mankind comes their reckoning, yet they turn
away in heedlessness.

Those amongst us who couldn't care less, never bother about learning
about the deen, or even reflecting upon the creation so that the
possibility of the resurrection becomes vividly clear and certain
and which in turn moves and excites the heart to Allaah's worship.
There are some Muslims who we have heard saying, upon receiving
advice and admonition: "Please leave us alone , as for us we will
settle our matter with Allaah when the time comes on the Day of
Judgement, give us a break."!!! Such ignorance and arrogance!!

So these are some of the ways and states in which people will die,
amongst many others which have been mentioned in Allaah's Book, and
we seek refuge in Allaah from such a situation.

And worthy of contemplation is the saying: The most contemptible of
people is the one who went astray in the final part of his journey,
having approached his destination [Al-Fawaa'id of Ibn al-Qayyim]

Part 2.

We all know the story of the young boy, the priest, the sorcerer and
the king. The boy was given the power to heal people from their
sicknesses and ailments and when the king found out he summoned him.
The king ordered him to denounce his religion but he refused to do
so. The king tried a number of times to kill him by having him
thrown off a mountain or drowned in the sea, but Allaah saved him
each time. The boy eventually told the king how he would be able to
kill him, with an arrow and by saying: In the name of the Lord of
the young boy. The king followed the boys orders and was killed. But
as a result the rest of the people said: We believe in the Lord of
the young boy. The king ordered them too to denounce their religion
but they refused and so a ditch was dug and and a fire was kindled
in it. They were all asked to jump in or were thrown in until there
was a mother with her child in her arms. She hesitated in jumping
and the little boy said to her: O mother be firm and have patience
as indeed you are upon the truth.

This story is also mentioned in the Quran:

Cursed were the people of the ditch. Fire supplied abundantly with
fuel. When they sat by it. And they witnessed what they were doing
against the believers (the burning). They had nothing against them
except that they believed in Allaah, the Almighty, Worthy of all
Praise!

Listen also to the story of the sorcerers of Pharaoh who declared
their belief in Allaah after having witnessed their own falsehood
and the truthfulness of Moosaa (as) and Allaah's signs:

So the magicians fell down prostrate and said: We believe in the
Lord of Aaron and Moses. Pharaoh said: Believe you in him (Moses)
before I give you permission? Verily, he is your chief who has
taught you magic. So I will surely cut off your hands and feet on
opposite sides, and I will surely crucify you on the trunks of palm
trees and you shall surely know which of us (i.e. Pharaoh or the
Lord of Moses) can give the severe and lasting torment. They said:
We prefer you not over the clear signs that have come to us, and to
Him (Allaah) who created us. So decree whatever you desire to
decree, for you can only decree (regarding) the life of this world.

The purpose of mentioning these stories is to illustrate how the
believers in Allaah, the state in which they died. We have hundreds
of examples also from the companions and the pious believers of this
ummah.

One may die naturally, due to illness, due to an accident, or one
can be martyred or simply murdered and tortured, like in the
examples given above and in many other examples in Muslim history
and even in the present times , for no other reason except holding
belief in Allaah.

The question arising is that if we were to die like this, that is by
being murdered, slaughtered by the enemies of Allaah, which is a
possibility, even in this country where we are comfortable and
satisfied [and who feels secure from the plan of Allaah except one
who is destroyed?] upon what state will we die?

Like the people of the young boy?
Like the sorcerers of Pharaoh?

I said (to them):'Ask forgiveness from your Lord, Verily, He is Oft Forgiving; He will send rain to you in abundance; And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers� (Surah Nuh : Ayat # 10,11,12)
 

OR

Bankrupt without any good deeds?
Having been neglectful of our duty to Allaah?
Satisfied with the life of this world?
Having imitated and become exactly like the kuffar?
In doubt, disbelief?
Heedlessness, ignorance of Allaah, His Deen, the resurrection?

IN WHAT STATE WILL YOU DIE??

This is something which everyone of us should think deeply about for
the next week and make preparations for.

We finish with a hadeeth of the Messenger (S.A.W.S.):

"One of you continues doing the actions of the People of Paradise
until there is but an arms length between him and it and then what
is written for him overtakes him so he does the actions of the
people of Hellfire and enters it."

Therefore O Muslims:

Walaa tamootunna illaa wa antum muslimoon

…do not die except while you are Muslims (in a state of submission
to Him)

Posted by: Sharique | June 5, 2006

Singing in Islam

Assalamu Alaikum,
A very compresensive article refuting the common belief that all forms of singing is Haraam in Islam, please read on….

The whole issue of singing is controversial, whether it is with musical accompaniment or not. Some issues succeeded to gain the Muslim scholars' agreement, while others failed. All scholars have unanimous view on the prohibition of all forms of singing and music that incites debauchery, indecency, or sin. As for musical instruments, given the weakness of the evidence indicating that they are forbidden, the rule to be applied here is the one states that all things are originally deemed permissible as long as there is no Shari`ah text that prohibits them.

Singing is no more than melodious words; if these are good, singing is considered good; but if they are bad, such singing is deemed bad. Talk that contains forbidden content is prohibited. What if that talk is accompanied with rhythm and melody?

Scholars agree on the permissibility of singing without instrumental accompaniment and where the content is not prohibited. This sort of singing is allowed only in certain occasions such as: weddings, feasts, welcoming a traveler, and the like. This is based on the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessing be upon him) that states: "He (peace and blessings be upon him) asked, 'Have you given the girl (i.e., the bride) anything as a present?' They (the attendants) replied, 'Yes.' He asked, 'Did you send a singer along with her?' 'No', said `A'ishah. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) then said, 'The Ansar are a people who love poetry. You should have sent along someone who would sing: Here we come, to you we come, greet us as we greet you.'" In this case, we can say that a woman can sing only in front of women and her non-marriageable male kin.

In the subject of musical instruments, scholars disagree on the matter. Some of them permit all sorts of singing, be it accompanied with musical instruments or not, and even consider it recommended. A second group of scholars permit singing only when is not accompanied with a musical instrument. A third group declare it to be prohibited whether it be accompanied with a musical instrument or not; they even consider it as a major sin. In supporting their view, they cite the hadith narrated by Imam Al-Bukhari on the authority of Abu Malik or Abu `Amir Al-Ash`ari (doubt from the sub-narrator) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, 'From among my followers there will be some people who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, the wearing of silk (clothes), the drinking of alcoholic drinks and the use of musical instruments, as lawful.' Although this hadith is in Sahih Al-Bukhari, its chain of transmission is not connected to Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and this invalidates its authenticity. Ibn Hazm rejects it for that very reason. Moreover, the sub-narrator, Hisham Ibn `Ammar is declared 'weak' by many scholars of the Science of Hadith Methodology.

Besides, this hadith does not clearly prohibit the use of musical instruments, for the phrase 'consider as lawful,' according to Ibn Al-`Arabi, has two distinct meanings:

First: Such people think all these (the things mentioned) are lawful.

Second: They exceed the proper limits that should be observed in using these instruments. If the first meaning is intended, such people would be thus disbelievers.

In fact, the hadith in hand dispraises the manners of a group of people who indulge themselves in luxuries, drinking alcohol and listening to music. Therefore, Ibn Majah narrates this hadith from Abu Malik Al-Ash`ari in the following wording: "From among my followers there will be some people who will drink wine, giving it other names while they listen to musical instruments and the singing of female singers; Allah the Almighty will make the earth swallow them and will turn them into monkeys and pigs." (Reported by Ibn Hibban in his Sahih)

Conclusion on Permissibility of Musical Instruments

In the light of the above, it is clear that the religious texts that stand as a basis for those who maintain that singing is haram are either ambiguous or inauthentic. None of the hadiths attributed to Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is valid as evidence on the judgment of prohibition. Moreover, all these hadiths are declared 'weak' by the followers of Ibn Hazm, Malik, Ibn Hanbal, and Ash-Shafi`i.

In his book, Al-Ahkam, Al-Qadi Abu Bakr Ibn Al-`Arabi says, "None of the hadiths maintaining that singing is prohibited are considered authentic (by the scholars of the Science of Hadith Methodology)." The same view is maintained by Al-Ghazali and Ibn An-Nahwi in Al-`Umdah. Ibn Tahir says, "Not even a single letter from all these Hadiths was proved to be authentic."

Ibn Hazm says, "All the hadiths narrated in this respect were invented and falsified."

Proofs of Those Who Maintain that Singing is Halal:

First: The Textual Proofs:

They base their argument on some authentic hadiths of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). One of these hadiths is the following:

`A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated: "Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him, came to my house while two girls were singing beside me the songs of Bu`ath (a story about the pre-Islamic war between the two tribes of the Ansar, the Khazraj and the Awus). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) laid down and turned his face to the other side. Then Abu Bakr came and spoke to me harshly saying, 'Musical instruments of Satan near the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)?' Thereupon, Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) turned his face towards him and said, 'Leave them.' When Abu Bakr became inattentive, I signaled to those girls to go out and they left." (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

This indicates that these two girls were not so young as claimed by some scholars. If they were, Abu Bakr would not have been angry with them in such manner. In addition, in this hadith, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) wanted to teach the Jews that Islam has room for merriment and that he himself was sent with a moderate and flexible legislation. There is also another important lesson to learn here. It draws our attention to the fact that one needs to introduce Islam to others in a good fashion, along with displaying its moderateness and magnanimity.

Moreover, we can also cite as corroborating this Allah's words that read, "But when they spy some merchandise or pastime they break away to it and leave thee standing. Say: That which Allah hath is better than pastime and than merchandise, and Allah is the best of providers." (Al-Jumu`ah: 11)

In this verse, Allah Almighty joins pastime with merchandise. He does not dispraise any of them, He just only rebuked the Companions who left Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) alone giving the khutbah (Friday Sermon), when they all rushed to attend to the caravan and beating of the drums celebrating its arrival.

Second: In Respect of Islam's Spirit and Basics:

It is a fact that Allah had prohibited for the Children of Israel some of the good things of this worldly life as a punishment for their misdeeds.

He says, "Because of the wrongdoing of the Jews, We forbade them good things which were (before) made lawful unto them, and because of their much hindering from Allah's way. And of their taking usury when they were forbidden it, and of their devouring people's wealth by false pretences. We have prepared for those of them who disbelieve a painful doom." (An-Nisa': 160-161)

Before sending Prophet Muhammad, He Almighty referred to him in the earlier scriptures as, "Those who follow the Messenger, the Prophet who can neither read nor write, whom they will find described in the Torah and the Gospel (which are) with them. He will enjoin on them that which is right and forbid them that which is wrong. He will make lawful for them all good things and prohibit for them only the foul." (Al-A`raf: 157)

Thus, Islam left nothing good or sound but declared it to be halal (lawful). This is a sign of mercy to this Ummah (nation or community), moving along the line of its comprehensive and eternal message. Allah Almighty says, "They ask you (O Muhammad) what is made lawful for them. Say: (all) good things are made lawful for you." (Al-Ma'idah: 4)

If we are to delve deeply into this matter, we will find that love for singing and melodic voices are almost a human instinct. We can observe an infant lying in his cradle soothed and sleeping by the sound of a lullaby. Mothers and nannies are always in the habit of singing for babies and children. Moreover, birds and animals respond to nice voices and rhythmic melodies.

Thereupon, if singing is thus a human instinct, it is not for Islam to defy humankind's instincts. Islam came to refine and promote the human instinct. Ibn Taymyiah says, "Prophets were sent to polish and discipline man's instinct and not to change or modify it." This is pursuant to the hadith that reads, "When Allah's Messenger came to Madinah, he found them (i.e., the people of Madinah) celebrating two days. He said, 'What are these days?' They replied, 'We used to rejoice in these days during the pre-Islamic era.' He (peace and blessings be upon him) said, 'Verily, Allah Almighty has given you two alternative days which are much better: these are Al-Adha and Al-Fitr days (`Eids).'" (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i)

Moreover, if singing is to be considered rejoicing and play, these are not haram; this is in pursuant to the famous idea that man needs some time to relax a bit and rejoice. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to Hanzalah who thought himself to be a hypocrite for his attendance to his wife and children and the change that affected him when he was apart from Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), "O Hanzalah! Part of your time should be devoted (to the worldly affairs) and part of time (should be devoted to prayer and meditation)." (Reported by Muslim)

`Ali Ibn Abu Talib says, "Amuse yourselves for some time, for if hearts are exposed to too much strain, they turn blind."

Abu Ad-Darda' said, "I refresh myself with some amusement in order to make myself stronger on the path of right."

Imam Al-Ghazali answered someone who asked him: "Isn't singing some kind of play and rejoice?" He said, "Yes. But, all that exists in this present life is mere play and rejoice. All that takes place between a husband and his wife is play, except sexual intercourse that is the direct cause of reproducing children. This has been reported from Allah's Messenger and his honorable Companions."

In fact, leisure time is refreshing to the heart and alleviates its tensions at the same time. Excessive strain and efforts render the heart bored and blind. Amusing the self refreshes and renews its strength and vigor. One who continuously works hard at something should take a break for a while in order to restore and regain his energy and firm will lest he totally collapses in future. When one takes a break, he thus restores his strength and vigor. Only Prophets can stand absolute seriousness. Having leisure time is a form of treatment for diseases of the self, weariness and boredom. But, leisure should not be excessive. This will go against the whole issue of rejoicing hearts to make them able to go on.

One who is familiar with and experienced in the nature of the human heart and self knows for certain that recreation and relaxation are necessary treatments for one's well-being.

These proofs on the permissibility of singing are extracted from the texts and rules of Islam, and these are sufficient to clarify the issue.

In addition to this, the people of Madinah, who were very pious and God-fearing, the Zahiriyyah, who were very literal regarding the textual proofs, and the Sufis, who were very strict and rigid, were all quoted to have declared the permissibility of singing.

Imam Ash-Shawkani says in his book "Nayl Al-Awtar", "The people of Madinah and those who agreed with them from among the Zahiriyyah and the Sufis maintain that singing is permissible, even when it is accompanied by a musical instrument such as the lute or the flute. Abu Mansur Al-Bughdadi Ash-Shafi`i narrate that `Abdullah Ibn Ja`far saw nothing wrong in singing, and he, himself, used to compose the music for his own slaves who used to sing these melodies in his presence. This took place during the time of Commander of the Faithful, `Ali Ibn Abi Talib. Abu Ja`far Al-Bughdadi narrates the same after Al-Qadi Shurayh, Sa`id Ibn Al-Musaiyb, `Ata' Ibn Abu Rabah, Az-Zuhri and Ash-Shi`bi."

Ar-Ruwaiyani narrates on the authority of Al-Qaffal that Malik Ibn Anas maintained that singing with musical instruments is permissible. Also, Abu Mansur Al-Furani quotes Malik as maintaining that playing the flute is permissible.

Abu Al-Fadl Ibn Tahir narrates, "The people of Madinah never disputed over the permissibility of playing the lute."

Ibn An-Nahwi narrates in his "Al-`Umdah": "Ibn Tahir said, 'The people of Madinah showed consensus over this (issue). Also, all the Zahiriyyah maintained the same.'"

Al-Mawardi attributes the permissibility of playing the lute to some of the Shafi`i followers and students. This has been narrated also by Abu Al-Fadl Ibn Tahir after Abu Ishaq Ash-Shirazi; and it is narrated by Al-Isnawi after Ar-Ruwaiyani and Al-Mawardi. Again, this is narrated by Al-Adfuwi after Sheikh `Izz Ad-Deen Ibn `Abd As-Salam. It is also narrated after Abu Bakr Ibn Al-`Arabi.

All these scholars consider singing that is accompanied by musical instruments permissible, but as for singing that is not accompanied by musical instruments, Al-Adfuwi says, "In some of his jurisprudence-related books, Al-Ghazali narrates the consensus of the scholars on its permissibility." Also, Ibn Tahir narrates the consensus of the Prophet's Companions and those who succeeded them on this very topic. Ibn An-Nahwi states in Al-`Umdah that singing and listening was deemed permissible by a group of the Companions and the Followers.

Conditions and Terms:

There are some conditions and terms that should be observed regarding listening to singing, as follows:

1. Not all sorts of singing are permissible. Rather, the permissible song should comply with the Islamic teachings and ethics. Therefore, the songs praising the tyrants and corrupt rulers disagree with Islamic teachings. In fact, Islam stands against transgressors and their allies, and those who show indifference to their transgression. So, the same goes for those songs that imply giving praises to such attitude!

2. Also, the way the song is performed weighs so much. The theme of the song may be good, but the performance of the singer – through intending excitement and arousing others' lusts and desires along with trying to seduce them – may move it to the area of prohibition, suspicion or even detest. The Glorious Qur'an addresses the wives of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) saying, "O you wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft of speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease aspire (to you), but utter customary speech." (Al-Ahzab: 32) So, one has to show caution to music when there is softness of speech accompanied with rhyme, melody, and special effects!

3. Singing should not be accompanied with something that is prohibited such as alcohol, nakedness, mixing of men with women that is common in pubs and nightclubs, etc.

4. Islam has declared excessiveness as prohibited in everything. The same goes for excessiveness in leisure and recreation even though these things are permissible ! This indicates that the emptiness of the mind and heart has to be observed and tackled during man's short-term life. One should know that Allah Almighty will ask every one about his life and his youth in particular.

There are some things in which one is to be his own judge and Mufti. If there is some kind of singing that arouses his own lust or desire, and takes him away from the real life, he should avoid it then and block that very gate from which the winds of trial and seduction may come and erase his religion, morals and heart. If he does this, he will live in peace and tranquility.

Warning against playing with the word "haram"

To conclude, we address the respectful scholars who tackle the word "haram" easily and set it free in their writings and fatwas that they should observe that Allah is watching over them in all that they say or do. They should also know that this word "haram" is very dangerous. It means that Allah's Punishment is due on a certain act or saying, and should not be based upon guessing, whims, weak Hadiths, not even through an old book. It has to be supported by a clear, well-established text or valid consensus. If these last two are not found, then we revert the given act or saying to the original rule: "permissibility governing things". We do have a good example to follow from one of our earlier pious scholars. Imam Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: "It was not the habit of those who preceded us, the early pious Muslims, who set good example for the following generations, to say, 'This is halal, and this is haram. But, they would say, 'I hate such-and-such, and maintain such-and-such, but as for halal and haram, this is what may be called inventing lies concerning Allah. Did not you hear Allah's Statement that reads, 'Say: Have you considered what provision Allah has sent down for you, how you have made of it lawful and unlawful? Say: Has Allah permitted you, or do you invent a lie concerning Allah?" (Yunus: 59) For, the halal is what Allah and His Messenger made lawful, and the haram is what Allah and His Messenger made unlawful.

Posted by: Sharique | June 5, 2006

How to obtain kushoo

How to Obtain Kushoo’
 
                 
Written by Shaykh Husayn al-‘Awaayishah  
Taken from: As-Salaatu wa Athurahaa fi Ziyaadatil Eemaan wa Tahdheeb in-Nafs [Note: All hadeeth quoted here have been authenticated by Shaykh Muhammad Naasir-ud-Deen al-Albaanee]
 
Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala) said:
 
The Believers will prosper. Those who have khushoo’ within their prayers. (23:1-2)
 
And He (subhaanahu wa ta’aala) also said:
 
And stand before Allaah with a devout frame of mind. (2:238)
 
Abu Hurayrah (radee Allaahu ‘anhu) said: The Messenger of Allaah (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) prayed one day, turned around and said: "O so and so! Do you not beautify your prayer? Does not the one who performs prayer when he does so look at how he prays? Indeed he prays for him self."
 
This khushoo’ is perfected by a number of matters some of which are within the prayer itself and others outside of it. Amongst such matters are:
 
1. Remembrance of Death
 
Anas (radee Allaahu ‘anhu) said: The Messenger of Allaah (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "Remember death within your prayer because when a man remembers death in his prayer is strives to beautify h is prayer and pray the prayer of a man who does not think that he will perform another prayer after it. Take caution and an excuse is sought for every affair."
 
The Messenger of Allaah (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) has ordered the Muslim to remember death during his prayer. This is because it is a means of beautifying the prayer. The thought of death creates apprehension in the souls and by it the actions are sealed. What comes after it is even more frightening. Where is the escape from the compression of the grave? And what will our response be when we are questioned in the grave? Furthermore, we do not know where our destination is, to a garden whose width is as that of the heavens and the earth or to the fire whose fuel is men and stones.
 
Thus does the servant imagine the visions of death and what comes after it, so he prays the prayer of a man who doesn't think that he will perform a prayer after it? He, therefore, beautifies his prayer, counts himself amongst the dead, prepares his shroud, writes his will and returns the rights to those who own them. When he wakes up he does not wait for the evening and when he reaches the evening he does not wait for the morning.
 
In this manner he comes to perform the prayer, humble, submissive and weeping. Between fear and hope he faces the Hereafter and he bids farewell to the world. It is a farewell prayer and a prayer of farewell. By it he says farewell to his family, parents, brothers and his dearest and nearest ones, in fact the whole World.
 
And here he says "Allaahu Akbar" – Allaah is Greater – indeed He is greater than every single thing. He belittles this world and deems it insignificant. Then he makes one of the opening supplications and says "O Allaah make my sins distant from me as you have made the east and west distant from each other." He visualises the remoteness of the east from the west then he brings to mind whatever he can from among his sins and mistakes which his back carries. He fears that he will meet Allaah in this state and that death will pass him before he has repented; so he calls with this supplication, certain and convinced that it will be answered.
 
He reflects upon the meaning of all that he utters during his prayer, bringing to mind the greatness and might of Allaah in his heart, tears welling from his eyes because Paradise and Hellfire have become evidently closer to him than his shoelace. He personifies the saying of the Messenger (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam): "Pray a farewell prayer as if you see Him and though you do not see Him, He certainly sees you."
 
It is essential to be observant of Allaah so that the matter of prayer is set aright and that the world is placed behind our backs. If a person knew that his words are being heard and that they reach the King without a doubt what then will he say? And how will he speak? Will you not see him weighing his letters and words? How will it be for the one who stands erect in front of the All-Hearer the All-Seer and All-Knowing, the One from Whom no secret is hidden?
 
’Abdullaah ibn Shikhkhir (radee Allaahu ‘anhu) said: I saw the Messenger of Allaah praying with us and in his chest was a humming / buzzing sound, due to his weeping, like that of a cooking kettle (when it boils).
 
The weeping of ‘Umar (radee Allaahu ‘anhu) could be heard from the last row as been reported in Bukhaaree. ‘Abdullaah ibn Shaddaad said: I heard the sobbing of ‘Umar while I was in the last row and he was reciting: "I complain of my grief and sorrow to Allaah alone." (12:86)
 
As for Abu Bakr (radee Allaahu ‘anhu), the people could not hear his recitation in the prayer due to his weeping just as Aa'ishah (radee Allaahu ‘anhu) has described when she said: "The Messenger of Allaah (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said while he was in his (final) illness: "Call upon Abu Bakr to lead the people in prayer." Aa'ishah said: "I said: When Abu Bakr stands in your place the people are not able to hear due to weeping so call ‘Umar and let him lead the people." He (the Messenger) said: "Call Abu Bakr and let him lead the people." Aa'ishah said to Hafsah: "Say to him (the Messenger) that when Abu Bakr stands in your place the people cannot hear him due to weeping so call ‘Umar and let him lead the people." Hafsah did that and the Messenger (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "Indeed you are like the companions of Yoosuf. Call Abu Bakr and let him lead the people in prayer."
 
Hafsah said to Aa'ishah: "I was never to gain any good from you."
 
In another narration: "Abu Bakr is a sorrowful man. When he stands in your place he is not able to pray with the people."
 
2. Reflecting upon the Meanings of the Words Which are Related to the Prayer
 
When he says "Allaahu Akbar" he brings to mind the meaning of these words and the greatness and might of Allaah the Exalted which they contain. When he seeks refuge in Allaah from Shaytaan – the accursed – he reflects upon the meaning of seeking refuge and that it entails recourse to and holding onto Allaah, the All-Hearing Who hears the servant, the All-Knowing Who knows what the Shayateen whisper. He brings to mind that with this (seeking refuge) he opens the door to every good and closes the door to every evil. In the same manner does he reflect upon the meanings of Bismillaah, the Tasbeeh (Subhaanallaah) and the sending of prayers upon the Prophet (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam).
 
It is essential to turn to the books of Tafseer and sayings of the scholars until a person understands what exactly he is saying and that is saying what he understands. This is for all of his prayer he strives to achieve that in accordance with his capability and strength.
 
3. Abandoning Sins & Disobedience
 
Allaah the Exalted said:
 
Indeed Allaah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in their souls. (13:11)
 
Disobedience is a barrier which stands in front of khushoo' in the prayer. Included in this disobedience is clinging to a woman possessing evil manners and not divorcing her or giving a fool power to dispose of his wealth or giving a loan without it being witnessed. The Messenger (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "There are three who call upon Allaah, but are not answered: A man under whom is a woman of evil nature and he does not divorce her, a man who is owed something by another but who did not call anyone to be a witness over it and a man who gives a fool his wealth." Allaah the Exalted also said: "And do not give to the foolish their wealth."
 
Also included in this is the disobedience the wife shows to her husband and the slave who has run away from his master, as occurs in the hadeeth: "There are two whose prayer does go beyond their heads: A servant who has fled from his master until he returns and a woman who disobeys her husband until she returns."
 
Likewise obeying Allaah in abundance increases khushoo' in the prayer and adds to its beautification. Among the things which bring this about are: Being merciful to orphans, stroking their heads and feeding them. In this regard, the Messenger (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "Do you wish that your heart should become soft and that you obtain your need? Show mercy to the orphan, stroke his head and give him from your food. Your heart will become softened and your will acquire your need."
 
4. Avoiding too Much Laughing as it is Fatal to the Heart & its Khushoo'
 
There occurs in the hadeeth: "…Indeed too much laughing kills the heart."
 
5. Choosing Suitable Actions
 
This is from a number of different aspects:
 
1. In that they are halaal / lawful, because Allaah does not accept but the lawful and wholesome. Consuming unlawful property repels the supplication and prevents khushoo'.
 
2. That these actions do not oppose the times of prayer. If that is the case, a man will start to make decisions for himself by allowing himself to delay the prayers or even making them up if he misses the time in which they are to be performed. He may also ask someone who will give him such an answer.
 
3. That he tries to find out – according to his capability – those actions which are not strenuous or exacting, so that he enters into the prayer with a humble and repentant heart. The one who is tired and overworked must refresh his mind and this is at the expense khushoo' in the prayer.
 
The Messenger (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) has commanded us that when supper is served and the iqaamah has also been pronounced for the prayer, we begin with the supper until we have finished from it. This is because of the hearts occupation with the provisions outside of the prayer. Ibn ‘Umar (radee Allaahu ‘anhu) reported from the Prophet (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that he said: "When the meal of one of you is served and the prayer has commenced, begin with the meal first and do not hurry until you have finished from it."
 
6. Not Being Excessively Occupied with the Affairs of the World
 
This is because it will most certainly be at the expense of the Hereafter. Take, therefore, from the world that which will cloth you, your family and your children. If your work is done in the morning it will suffice you. There is nothing which necessitates work in the evening. If you receive a consistent amount of business which brings you profits in abundance there is no need for becoming entangled with a variety of trades, dividing your mind thereby, making you forget the rights of your Lord and destroying the rights of yourself, your family and your dependants.
 
7. Reciting the Qur'aan abundantly
 
Also what has been established from among the various remembrances and supplications from the Messenger as well as reading the heart-melting traditions and stories. These soften the heart and make the Shaytaan distant.
 
8. Coming to the Prayer Early
 
So that his zeal for the prayer does not force him to hurry towards the mosque and therefore enter the prayer while he is disturbed or muddled.
 
Abu Qataadah (radee Allaahu ‘anhu) said: The Messenger of Allaah (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "When you come to the prayer you must come to it at ease and with tranquillity and do not come to it hastily. Whatever you catch of the prayer pray it and whatever you miss complete it."
 
Also Abu Hurayrah (radee Allaahu ‘anhu) said: The Messenger of Allaah (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "When the prayer is recompensed for do not come to it hastily but come to it with ease, in tranquillity. Whatever you catch of it pray it and whatever you miss complete it. Indeed when one of you comes to perform the prayer he is engaged in prayer."
 
9. Straightening of the Rows, Making them Level & Filling the Gaps
 
This is because the gaps in the rows are the residing places of Shaytaan and the places where he stands. In a hadeeth there occurs: "Join together in the rows as Shaytaan stands between the gaps."
 
The Messenger (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) used to say when straightening the rows of the Companions (radee Allaahu ‘anhum): "Be equal (level) and do not separate lest your hearts separate." He also used to say: "Either you must straighten and make level your rows or Allaah will cause your faces to be separated."
 
In the absence of the straightening of the rows, making them level and filling the gaps is the separation of the faces and hearts, an impairment to Eemaan and killing of khushoo'. Conversely, in the straightening of the rows and their being level is the perfection of the prayer and its beautification as the Messenger (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "…as the straightening of the rows is from the perfection of the prayer" and also his saying: "…as the straightening of the rows is from the beauty of prayer."

Posted by: Sharique | June 5, 2006

Falling in Love

 

We’re In Love, Now What?

 

Question:

As-salamu `alaykum.

I thank you all for the wonderful services being provided. I am a single guy who is totally in love with this girl. We have known each other for three years now, but have only spoken on the phone and exchanged e-mails. We have not met in private. We got to know each other quite well and we really love each other. The main reason I love her is that she is a nice person, religious, good hearted, etc., and has all the good qualities which a Muslim wife should possess.

Within the first year of our relationship she became engaged to someone else. But she does not like the engagement as she really loves me. Since she got engaged I began to pull back, but she could not forget me. Now we communicate by phone. She told her parents that she does not want to get married to her fiancé as she does not have feelings towards him, but they are forcing her.

I know that a person should not be forced to marry someone and Islam does not allow it. I spoke to my mom but my mom feels worried to talk to my dad because the girl is engaged. I really love her and I feel that she is the one I want to be with. I do not know how my dad would accept it. I want him to know that I really want her but I am worried that he might not consent.

What can I do to get her? This problem is worrying me a lot. Can I talk to her fiancé? What would happen if my parents do not agree? She has told me many times that she will not be able to live happily with this guy. What can she do on her part? Please Advise. I am awaiting your response, please do help me

Answer:

 

As-salamu `alaykum.

We thank you for your kind words regarding the IslamOnline.net services. Please make du`aa' (supplication) that Allah Most High continues to guide us to offer the highest quality services online. You find yourself in a situation that is at best complicated. We strongly suggest that you take into consideration several critical factors:

 

First, realize that once she became engaged there should have been no more contact between you and this young woman. No matter who was in love with whom, or who had feelings for whom, once the engagement was announced, there should have been no further contact between you two.

 

A marriage is a very serious matter in Islam and the engagement is perhaps the most critical step in proceeding with the actual marriage. We want to be sure that we are not misunderstanding you in any way. We trust that when you say the young woman is engaged, you mean to say that the two parties have reached a formal agreement that she will marry her fiancé. We want to be sure that no contract has actually been signed, since in some cultures, the word engagement is misused to mean that a contract has been signed but that the marriage has not yet been consummated. We are going to err on the side of the engagement without a signed contract. Even in that case, we begin with this reminder about the seriousness of the engagement and why it is so important that there be no further contact with the young woman.

 

Second, there is nothing you can or should do in order to break off her engagement; the entire burden of that decision falls upon the shoulders of the young woman and her parents. The matter of whether or not the young woman really wants to marry her fiancé and whether or not the marriage will work out etc. is none of your business. That is as frank as we can be about this matter. You have no authority within Islamic guidelines to advocate for or speak on behalf of this young woman, no matter how much or how often she says she is in love with you. If she feels truly put-off by the engagement, then she is the one that must initiate the break-up. You should have no part in that process.

 

Third, talking to your parents about this matter is very sensitive, because in a sense it becomes official that you and your parents desire that the engagement does not go through. Imagine if, for whatever reason, the young woman’s engagement is called off and you approach her parents, it is quite possible that her parents will have little or no respect for your parents if they find out that you have been in love with her all along and that your parents were also aware of your relationship with an engaged woman!

Seek refuge in Allah from Satan and do everything possible not to involve your parents in this matter. Have no further contact with the young woman until you hear from a reliable third party that the engagement has been called off. After a suitable time has passed (preferably not less than one month), then, and only then, should you send forth an inquiry for marriage, again through a reliable third party.

 

Finally, never ever talk to her fiancé. You have no business talking to him. What would you say to him? “I realize you are very excited about getting married, but I wanted to let you know that your fiancé not only does not want to marry you, but she has been in love with me for the past three years.” What else could you tell him?
Please exercise restraint and stay away from both this young woman and from her fiancé. Make du`aa' (supplication) to Allah to guide you and to grant you a pious wife who is a blessing for your faith, family and future. It is not appropriate to be praying for her engagement to be called off. But, if Allah wills that she is the one you will marry, then Allah is the Best of Planners and it is possible you will marry her.

 

We do not suggest putting your life on hold waiting to see what happens. Prepare yourself for marriage and make the Istikharah Prayer (supplication for guidance in making a decision) before making your final choice, in sha’ Allah.

Allah knows best.

When I See A Girl, I Fall in Love

Question:

 

As-salamu `alaykum.

When I see a girl, I fall in love with her. Then when I see another girl, I fall in love with the second girl. So I fall in love with every girl I see. I want to stop this action. What should I do?

 

Answer:

 

As-salamu `alaykum.

 

Thank you for writing to us. We understand how challenging it must be for you to be dealing with an overly active heart! Are you sure you actually “fall in love” with every girl you see? What does “falling in love” mean to you? We want you to stop and think about what is really happening.

 

First, we want to acquaint you with the physiological changes that a person experiences as they go through adolescence. You have marked your age as being between 15-20 years old. Starting with puberty, your body begins to produce new hormones, which then cause you to experience emotional and physical changes. One of those changes is that you feel sexually stimulated upon seeing a member of the opposite sex whose physical features are pleasing to you.

 

This is a normal and quite natural feeling. However, by no means does being sexually stimulated upon looking at someone equate with “falling in love” with them. Feeling stimulated by just looking at a girl means that you are merely excited by her physical appearance. While physical attraction is one of the components of falling in love, it is a shallow and short-lived assessment. Looks are not everything; what is more important is a person’s heart and character.

 

Second, we urge you to be more careful in choosing what your eyes see. Allah Most High tells us to lower our gaze, because it is often with our eyes that we commit sins by looking at someone or something that is not permissible for us. A woman who is not mahram(a husband or close relative forbidden in marriage) to you, is not to be looked at according to Islamic teachings.

 

Sure, you might find yourself having to look up as you walk and you might spot a woman, but that first look is pardonable and all intentional looks after that are disliked in the eyes of Allah Most High. So one way to stop falling in love with every girl you see is to make sure that you do not look with desire at another woman. You are the only one who can control what your eyes see. No one else can tell you what to look at and what not to look at. You must exercise control.

 

Finally, remind yourself that,in sha’ Allah, by being patient and chaste, you are gaining the pleasure of Allah. The reward for obeying Allah could well be that Allah grants you a woman who is truly beautiful in your eyes and pious and,in sha’ Allah, a blessing for your faith, family, and future. However, you can risk losing all of that by continuing to follow your lower desires and looking at women. Surely you want what is more lasting and pleasing to Allah.

 

Turn to Allah and seek His forgiveness for any past sins you might have committed with your eyes. Control what your eyes see.

Allah knows best.

Young and in love for how long?

 

Question:

 

I am deeply involved with a guy for 3 years now, we are both very serious about each other and have plans of marrying each other, but we can not tell our parents at this stage as it is too early and we are still too young for marriage…and we cannot live without each other too…if we tell our parents now they will not listen to us and simply take us away from each other…what should I do? am I doing wrong?

 

Answer:

 

As-salaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatuh sister.

 

Love is a wonderful experience and a precious gift to have especially when it is shared with family, friends and neighbors. It can help to overcome those everyday or occasional obstacles and one can feel secure and emotionally nourished and able to deal with any situation. It is a gift from Allah s.w.t. that can nuture a sense of humanity and therefore the feeling of being responsible for one another. Love feeds love and there is an abundane that can even be shared with a stranger making him or her never feeling the sense of being alone.

 

When it is between two people the emotions are stronger particularly when young and is only nourishing and sustaining if both give and receive in a balanced way. When one loves someone to the point that one feels that you can not ‘do without each other’ it takes on a different form. It becomes possessive and fearful and can in fact stop each other from growing. You stop listening to your will and sense of reason and everything you do comes under the control of this ‘love’. It's an extremely strong emotion that can only sustain itself for a period of time. The fact that you have ‘loved’ each other for three years without your parents knowing adds to your fear as you seek to cling onto each other. It would be interesting to see what would happen if your relationship was not so private and how long it would in fact survive. In private the relationship is actually unreal for there are no daily challenges or responsibilities to face as in marriage.

 

Of course you know that you can not continue like this otherwise you would not be asking the question. Both of you need to talk to your parents in terms of marriage. You have no choice at the end of the day. The procedure should be carried out as formally as possible to add balance – therefore reason to the situation. His family should contact your family and together they should discuss the marriage. It does not mean that the marriage will take place automatically but at least to create the situation so that the possibility of marriage can take place at a later date. If both families accept this still makes you non-Mahram i.e. not related by blood or marriage and therefore there is no contact or being alone together. This is how it should have been in the first place. Communications should remain between your families and if they so choose, then maybe you can both meet in the company of a family member or guardian. If the parents decide that marriage is inappropriate then if you both really love each other you can try again when you are old enough to bring up the issue again.

 

It is better this way for love is a powerful emotion that can get out of hand if not balanced by reason and you could end up compromising yourself and in fact undoing any possbility of marriage in the future. Jazak Allah Khayr.


Perpetually falling in love

 

 

Question:

 

As-salaamu alaykum.

 

I am a 20-year-old university student living in Turkey. I am attending an American-styled university. We learn in English which is compulsory in this university. We do not have our own rich Ottoman-Turkish language).

Anyway, since the age of 10, but especially since the age of 13, I have always been falling in- love with a girl in my immediate surroundings, that is to say in my class at school. I have always been a painfully shy boy who has not had many friends outside the class. I am again falling in love, the first time with a girl in hijab. As a shy person should I attempt to talk to her to get to know her? Or should I abstain from speaking with girls or just abstain from speaking to that specific girl whom I am beginning to fall in love with, so as to distance myself from her?

The other details I must include in my question are:


I have obsessive compulsive syndrome and for the past few months have been receiving both medical treatment and psychotherapy which are not Islamic counseling. I shared this problem with both the therapist and the psychiatrist; but I could not receive a satisfactory and Islamic answer. The psychiatrist gave me a medicine (anti-psychotic) saying that it would decrease my tendency to fall in love easily.


Due to my psychological problems, I am at least one and a half years behind the grades that I should have had. I am 20 and restarting my first semester in the university. According to my calculations, I have to wait for at least 8 years before marriage. Oh, very difficult to endure! As to what kind of a Muslim I am. I am practicing all my five salaats (prayers) regularly but do not go to the mosque usually just due to laziness.

Answer:

As-salaamu alaykum, brother:

It is good to see that even after seeking help with your problem from healthcare professionals, that you recognize there are components in Islam that are beneficial and provide guidance that may not be included in the industry of healthcare.

There are two issues here; one is the attraction to females around you and the other is one of your diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (Syndrome) [OCD]. Let us deal with you ‘falling in love’ first.

 

Falling in love has a great deal of sexual attraction to it, as opposed to loving someone. Many people confuse the two. When one asks is it appropriate to fall in love with a sibling or parent; the answer is usually ‘No. because loving someone means to nurture the well-being of a person(s) physical, spiritual and mental well-being, among other things. You seem to be ‘in-love,’ as you appropriately put it. There are many things that arouse these feelings.

 

First of all, you happen to be at an age where your sexual peak, your tendency to desire more sex, is greater than what it is expected to be at any other time in your life. Based on science, this has already been proven. Therefore, your attraction to others will have physical and mental responses with a greater sense of focus towards whatever you are attracted to. In your case, it is girls/ladies who happen to be within your immediate area and whom you at least see. In this case, since it is your class, it may be that you also are attracted to what she is saying or other parts of her intellect as well. This is natural. This is something that many, if not most young men, go through during this stage of their life. This is actually one of the many reasons why many administrators, imams and others find it Islamically prudent to separate the genders in situations like school. Other examples of cautioning us, as Muslims, include females praying behind and not in front of the men. Another more basic example is the reason for the hijab. These directives for us are designed to help minimize the feelings and possibly premature actions of two people who are not yet married. So your feelings for the girls around you, in a mixed-gender environment seem to be in line with your age, gender and your closeness to the ladies.

 

A solution to this becomes difficult at times, because men are told to lower their gaze – try not to stare or focus your sight on the female. But this is more difficult when the women are not doing their part, which is to cover their hair and their bodies. Since you live in a secular society, it is my imagination that there are many women who are not wearing hijab, therefore making it more difficult for you NOT to focus on them.

 

The reason why I am stressing this is because I want you to understand that if you did not have OCD, I presume that you would still have similar struggles in trying to control yourself from ‘falling in love.’

 

Other things that I can suggest for you to do is to fast regularly. We are instructed to do so under conditions such as these, whereby we cannot afford to get married. Based on what you’re saying about your health and student status, I am assuming that you are saying you are not financially prepared to get married. Forgive me if I am wrong. Fasting helps to reduce the sex drive.

Another suggestion, to help with fasting, is to try and go to the mosque. For whatever reason Allah (swt) has in mind and the benefits that we may yet understand, the issue of brotherhood is important. Going to the mosque encourages this level of brotherhood. I bring this up because if you are a loner, then it becomes easier for you to give in to your desires. In addition to this, there is a reinforcement from other brothers who may have similar struggles and at least your company can encourage each other to re-focus on something else. Try to include a focus on your prayer on gaining control of yourself.

 

Other daily and practical things you might be able to do are to ensure that you have a daily or weekly planner and include realistic things in there that need to be done on a timely basis. This will help you to stay more focused on completing things, like your schoolwork. Time and personal management books and/or classes can help with this.

 

While I know very little about your personal sufferings, I am a bit confused with your level of ‘laziness’ and having the illness. The two normally don’t go together. Although, I recognize that the medication may be playing a role in this. It is not clear what other areas you seem to be obsessive about. If it is primarily with the ladies, then I recommend asking your doctor(s) as to why it is not directly affecting other areas in your life.

 

Ensha’Allah, you will continue to progress, as you are well under way. You have sought help, and you continue to seek help. This is a sign of a strong character.

 

As-salaamu alaykum.

The illusion of love on the internet

 

Question:

 

As- salaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

I have got two questions.

 

First, I met a girl through the net. She was cute but wasn't living the right way. I knew from her that this was her family style because she was never taught right or wrong. I tried to help her and she was progressively changing. I saw her only once, but our main contact was through the ‘phone. I liked her and she loved me. I told her that I liked her and I asked her for marriage. After I finished college, she accepted.

 

My love grew, but she started to reverse back. Her love for me, as she said, became much stronger. When I graduated, she asked me about my promise. I know I have all what is needed to marry her, but her character had reversed back becoming non-Islamic as we can see in a lot of girls these days. When I told her that, she started making me feel guilty about making her hold her heart to me. She promised again to change after marriage when I “would become her ruler, ” as she said. What really hurts is that I like her and I don't know what to do or how to answer her !!! I was a man of my words and I don't want to feel guilty about her. I need a true Muslim girl to love and be my wife. I tried to look for a wife so as to complete my religion but I work in a foreign petroleum company where I can’t find the right one for me. My family isn't of a great help to me in this matter.

 

The second question is how and where I can find a true Muslim girl to marry as a single man with this problem. I'm really lost in this and I'm in need for some help. Thanks a lot and God bless you.

 

Answer:

 

As-salaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

 

The general perception today is that the young are more selfish and have the world at their feet, but as you have shown us, this is not always the case. We are not really in a position to comment on the girl concerned and as much as you have done your part to try and guide her into the right direction, it was not your ‘job’ in the first place. This was the role of the parents, and regardless of how carefree a young person gets at the end of the day, they do subconsciously expect this from their parents. This has probably added to the emotions that this girl feels towards you. Therefore subconsciously, she has made practicing Islam a condition of marriage to you.

 

To add fuel to the fire, you have begun a dialog (internet, phone etc) with a girl who Islamically, you can marry – non-Mahrem ( a person to whom it is not possible to marry). As you know this is not allowed in Islam and as you have shown the inevitable has happened. It was irresponsible to have encouraged her to see you in this way and regardless of your feelings towards her, as you have stated you want to marry someone who is a practicing Muslim. You are strongly urged to apologize to this girl and end communications. You are only hurting both of you in the long run. If you truly have a strong preference for a girl who is a practicing Muslim then you will do more damage by allowing the situation to continue. Looking at it another way, if you were to pursue this relationship and marry her, then you have to ask yourself if you would ever be satisfied with her if at the moment you have difficulties over the situation. If you married her are you willing to accept her as she is and through your care of her allow her to grow into leading a more Islamic life? That is what it will take, for Islam gave us a choice meaning Allah s.w.t. wants us to go to Him of our own free will. As ‘Ali ibn abu Talib once said: ‘Surely there are people who worship Allah out of desire for reward, and this is the worship of traders. And surely there are people who worship Allah out of fear of punishment, and this is the worship of slaves. And surely there are people who worship Allah out of gratitude, and this is the worship of the free”.

 

Besides, the nature of your second question shows that you have already decided to not continue with her. Intentions are weights that we are measured by in Islam. Hence, this is where you must begin, by being sincere in the desire to seek a marriage partner who is a practicing Muslim. Once you are sure about this, then you must remain committed to your intentions followed up by du’as and strengthening your own knowledge and understanding of Islam. These efforts combine is what will help Allah s.w.t. to answer your prayers as long as you are ready for such a request. Living Islam is not just about the marital home but it is also about the world outside your home which as we know can be very testing. In this sense you are correct to want a practicing Muslim as a wife for then together many daily challenges can be handled with more ease.

 

In the meantime impress on your family and friends of your needs, so that they may help you solve this problem. Also, try to avoid any unnecessary contact with girls for this also reflects on your character and your desire to find a suitable partner in life. One is aware that work for a petroleum company can be very demanding and time consuming and leaves people with no time to act on personal needs. Just try to be patient and give time for your prayers to be answered and we pray for the best outcome for your future – fi-aman-Allah.

Posted by: Sharique | June 5, 2006

Importance Of Marriage And Its Etiquettes

By: Shaykh Saalih Aal Taalib
Source: Khutbah; 2, Jumaadal-Aakhirah 1426 (8, July 2005)

 

All praise is due to Allaah, Lord of all the worlds. Peace and blessings be upon the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alayihi wa sallam), his household and companions.

Fellow Muslims! The most truthful speech is the Book of Allaah and the best guidance is that of Muhammad. Every innovation is misguidance and every misguidance leads to Hell.

Fear Allaah and know that tomorrow, you will be made to stand in front of your Lord and be recompensed for your deeds.


"O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife (Hawwā (Eve)) and from them both He created many men and women; and fear Allāh through Whom you demand (your mutual rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allāh is Ever an All-Watcher over you."
(An-Nisaa 4:1)


Beware of procrastination, for having deep inclination towards this world makes one forget the Hereafter, as following the desires blocks the way to the truth.

Dear brethren! Allaah has created humans upon inclinations to their natural instincts. It is also of His mercy and wisdom that He made the law of Islaam call to this and He promised prosperity and reward to those who follow the course of this nature. A manifestation of this is the relationship that takes place between man and woman through marriage.


Brethren in Islaam! No sane person will dispute the importance, virtues and benefits of marriage or dispute the fact that marriage is the natural means of achieving peace of mind, tranquility and societal stability and progress. Marriage makes life well-organized and it is from its fortress that righteous generations are produced. Allaah says, "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." (Ar-Room 30:21)


Marriage promotes purity and chastity, keeps the married person away from illegal sexual intercourse and sinful activities. It brings about blessing and makes the society live a morally secure and comfortable life. Allaah makes marriage a virtue and a way of the Prophets. He says addressing His Messenger, "And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad (peace be upon him)) and made for them wives and offspring." (Ar-Ra'd 13:38)


Therefore, it is because of these great benefits that Islaam encourages marriage and encourages its facilitation. It also prohibits all that could impede or disrupt it. Allaah says, "And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice." (An-Nisaa 4:32)


The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayihi wa sallam) said, "O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.)." (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)


In the Qur'aan, Allaah commands that suitable suitors should be married to as He prohibits preventing women from marrying women of their choice. In the Qur'aan and the Sunnah, rights and responsibilities of the husband and the wife are explained so that a truly Muslim family that is the foundation of a strong and coherent society can be established.


Brethren in faith! It is certain that anyone who has concern for his society and Ummah and wishes his fellow Muslims well will make all efforts to promote this institution and make it successful. He will avoid all that could impede it. A concerned Muslim will also be worried about the failure of some marriages when he sees problems springing out of some homes. It is therefore necessary that a wise Muslim should adopt all useful means of making the marriage life successful.

Fellow Muslims! Speaking about marriage has many aspects. It is enough to talk about some phenomena that precede marriage and that have an undesirable impact on the course of life so that the Muslims can be sincerely admonished and the heedless will be awakened.


One: Delaying marriage until the end of studies or after getting a job and having financial capability or delaying marriage in order to avoid commitments or for any other reasons. All this is part of the evil plans of Satan by which he brainwashes humans especially the youth through the filthy films and serials that are aired on the satellite TV or published in magazines and newspapers. This has created a lot of misconceptions about marital life, corrupted the people's morality and instilled in them mistaken ideas that opened the door to a great evil.


Delaying marriage contradicts Islaamic teachings as it contradicts the human nature. Sociologists affirmed that early marriage is the best marriage even if the financial condition is hard. They also affirmed that it is a major means of attaining stable psychological and physical health; and that the children born from early marriage are more intelligent and healthier and have less physical disabilities.


In addition to the above, early marriage makes one's religion complete and makes one chaste. It is also established that early marriage is a major factor in many people's success in their academic life. So when an artificial impediment is put in the way of this natural institution, the consequences will be woes upon the society.


In fact, there is no contradiction between marriage and requirements of marriage life, for that is a part of natural life that should not be linked to imaginary and artificial impediments created by the idiotic people. The Muslims' stand concerning marriage should be reliance on Allaah and not on materials. Allaah says, "And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Sālihūn (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allāh will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allāh is All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people)." (An-Noor 24:32)


The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayihi wa sallam) said, "There are three persons that Allaah has taken it upon Himself to help them: the fighter in the way of Allaah, a captive who is in the process of buying his freedom and the one who wants to marry to keep himself or herself chaste." (At-Tirmidhee and others)


If there are some stupid people who have turned their daughters into commercial commodity and ask for exorbitant mahr [bridal gift] and lay down difficult conditions for those who want to marry their daughters, there are better women elsewhere. For, there are many families who only wish to marry their daughter to someone who can make her happy and preserve her religion for her and treat her well. These families are satisfied with minimal mahr, emulating by that, the Messenger of Allaah who said, "It is a sign of blessing in a woman that proposing marriage to her and her mahr are made easy for the suitor." (Ahmad and others)


Demanding for excessive mahr and evaluating a suitor by the amount of mahr he is able to pay is a sign of meanness, perverted thinking and stupidity. Also, burdening the suitor with exorbitant mahr and requesting him to present many gifts to relatives of the prospective groom is the peak of greed, avarice and opportunism. All this breeds ill-feeling, weighs the husband down with debts, impedes the smooth course of marriage in the society and causes many girls to remain unmarried for a long time. This is, indeed, a manifestation of preventing woman from marrying; a situation that Allaah forbids.


Also, one of the cruelest forms of preventing woman from marrying is to insist that she should marry a particular relative of hers and preventing her from marrying any other suitor even if that leads to her remaining a spinster for life. This is a major crime and an excessive act of selfishness that is a product of an obsolete norm, and it goes against the everlasting injunctions of Islaam.

 

It is unlawful to coerce a woman into marrying someone she does not like. Her father's guardianship over her is only to safeguard her interest and protect her, and definitely not that of imposition or coercion. The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayihi wa sallam) said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allaah's Messenger! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)." (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

 

Shaykh al-Islaam ibn Taymiyyah said, "It is unlawful for any of the two parents to force their son into marrying someone he does not like. If he refuses to obey them in this regard he is not considered undutiful to them. If it is unlawful for anyone to force him to eat what he does not want to eat though he is capable of eating what he wants, the same thing applies to marriage, even with a greater reason. For, eating an undesirable thing is painful only for a moment but the pain of marrying an undesirable someone lasts for long."


Forcing a woman into marrying someone she does not like because of that person's money or his fame or his close relationship is an injustice and therefore forbidden. The guardians must understand this.

The girl should also try to understand the point of view of her guardian regarding acceptance and refusal of a proposal. In any case, interest of the girl should be the criterion.


Dear Muslims! Guardians have a great responsibility regarding the suitor who comes forward for the hand of their daughter in marriage. This is in view of the Prophet's instruction, "Man is the guardian over his family and he will be asked as to how he discharged his responsibility towards them." (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)


Also, the girl is usually dependent upon her guardian's knowledge and advice. He should therefore fear Allaah and make all efforts to know the real situation of the suitor and his compatibility. For, many are righteous women who are afflicted with a sinful husband who does not pray or who takes intoxicants and perpetrates forbidden things or who is ill-mannered. This unfortunate situation is caused by nothing more than her guardian's negligence and his carelessness regarding the religiosity of the husband and his being satisfied only with his appearance or because he trusted the family from which the husband comes.


Compatibility in marriage should only be in terms of religiosity and good manner. The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayihi wa sallam) said, "If someone with whose religion and manners you are pleased asks for the hand of your daughter in marriage, grant it to them. If you do not do so, there will be temptation in the land and widespread corruption." (At-Tirmidhee)


Let those whose only goal is asking for money and fame and have no regard for religiosity realise that he who betrays Allaah and His Messenger (sallallaahu 'alayihi wa sallam) cannot be trusted to be a guardian for his own daughter. The same thing can be said to the suitor as well. For, there are many men who stipulated for his fiancée all conditions of this world but regarded the religion as the least important and soon realised that the woman is not suitable to be his wife because of her lack of religiosity and morals. The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayihi wa sallam) said, "A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers." (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)


The suitor should realize that any woman who is careless about her responsibility to her Creator will definitely negligent in her responsibility to her husband and children. Also, the adviser or the person responsible must be duly informed of the situation of the suitor. He should fear Allaah in all that he says and in the advice he gives. Some people might be influenced by tribal zealousness or haste thereby exaggerating in praising or disparaging a suitor or a woman though they have not had sufficient knowledge of the person concerned. The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayihi wa sallam) said, "The Adviser is trusted [in the matter in which his advice is sought]." (Aboo Daawood)


Fellow Muslims! Some marriage banquets are plagued with excessive spending and violations of Islaamic teachings. This trend has become so prevalent that it is regarded as an indispensable aspect of marriage. Sometimes, the banquet expenses exceed the mahr in manifold and the decision regarded this is left in the hands of women and the unwise ones. This calamity becomes graver when it is coupled with sin acts. What blessing or success should one then expect if a married life is started, from its first night, with sinful things and acts of obedience to Allaah, Who alone owns the success and Who holds the hearts of humans in His Hand and twist them as He likes?


Certainly, intermingling of men and women who are not close relatives, employing the service of musicians with their instruments, neglecting the prayers and delaying them, exposing of nakedness –especially among women who are, though dressed, are practically naked – and open and stealthy snapping of pictures and videoing are all a manifestation of showing ingratitude to Allaah, rebelling His commands and wantonness. This is to say nothing of wastefulness and showing-off that are the characteristics of the preparations and banquets. Why all this? Can parties not take place without violation of Islaamic regulations? If the unlucky fails to achieve success in their marriage, he should then know what the cause.

If sins can weaken countries and shake kingdoms, it has the greater capacity to do so with little homes. Allaah says, "Is it then he, who laid the foundation of his building on piety to Allāh and His Good Pleasure, better, or he who laid the foundation of his building on an undetermined brink of a precipice ready to crumble down, so that it crumbled to pieces with him into the Fire of Hell?" (At-Tawbah 9:109)


Brethren in faith! It is a manifestation of excellent upbringing and fulfillment of the trust to prepare a girl for matrimonial life and to teach her how to be responsible and how to handle the demands of life. You will surely pity a girl sent off to her new home for a matrimonial life and yet knew nothing of her rights and responsibilities, knew nothing about how to deal with her husband, his family and relatives, knew nothing about how to nurture her children and deal with them and nothing about how to manage home affairs. A situation like this has caused many cases of separation and raised the rate of divorce in the society.


It is therefore the responsibility of the parents, the teachers, the curriculum writers and the journalists to exert sincere efforts in giving boys and girls appropriate awareness. What is the benefit of long years of study if it does teach the fundamentals of life?


All youths are in dire of proper education on how to adhere by the limits of Allaah concerning marriage, worshipping Allaah through maintaining good relationship with spouse, how to cooperate with one another in righteousness and piety before marriage and how to shun selfishness. They also need to know and acknowledge the real meaning of being guardian in the law of Islaam; that it is meant to protect, nurture and to manage excellently and that it is a responsibility of which man will be held accountable in the Day of Resurrection. The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayihi wa sallam) said, "All of you are guardians and responsible for your charges: a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for his charges and a lady is a guardian in the house of her husband and is responsible for her charge." (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)


If the intentions are good and the obligations are carried out, happiness and success will prevail all over the world. If one adheres to invoking Allaah and is sincere in his hope in Him, Allaah will not let him down, and will not make his efforts to go in vain.

Posted by: Sharique | June 5, 2006

Be Careful about Parents

1. Causing grief and sadness to parents:-
Be Careful about Parents because of a statement or an action: Allah
says:-

And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that
you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them
attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect,
nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour
. (17:23)

Ad-Daylami narrated that Al-Husain Ibn Ali (may Allah be pleased
with him) narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)
said: "Has there been an act of Uquq, less than saying Uff (Fie),
Allah would have disallowed it as well."

Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn al-Aas (radhi allahu anhu) narrated that a man
came to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) to give him the
pledge of allegiance, saying, 'I have come to give you my Bai'ah
(allegiance) to perform Hijrah (migration to al-Medina). However, I
left behind my parents while they were crying." The Prophet
(sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Then go back and make them
laugh as you made them cry." [Musnad Ahmad] Furthermore, Ibn Umar
(radhi allahu anhu) said: "Bringing tears to parents is a part of
Uquq and a major sin." [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

2. Insulting or Cursing one's Parents or somebody else's Parents:-

Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) has cursed him, who
insults parents, he (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Curse be
upon whoever reviles his father, curse be upon whoever reviles his
mother, Curse be upon on whoever slaughters for other than Allah,
Curse be on whoever misguides a blind person on the street, Curse be
on whoever does what the nation of Loot did." [Saheeh al-Jamee
(5767)]

And he (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) also reported to have
said: "From the major sins is a man reviling his parents." We
(Sahabah) said, "O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)
and how does a man revile his parents?" He said: "Yes, reviling a
man's father is reviling your father, and reviling his mother is
reviling your mother." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]

And in another narration, Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-
sallam) replied: "He abuses the father of somebody who, in return,
abuses the former's; he then abuses the mother of somebody who, in
return, abuses his mother." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]
We learn from this Hadeeth that one should not abuse anyone's
parents, because in the event, he is paid in the same coin and he
will be responsible for disgracing his own parents.

3. Practicing Evil in front of Parents:-

One should not practice evil in front of parents, such as abandoning
prayers, smoking, listening to music, watching indecent movies and
other types of immoral acts. These acts anger parents when Allah has
even disallowed even saying Uff to them. If the parents agree with
these acts of their child out of love for him, then the parents will
earn evil deeds. The child will be committing evil for luring his
parents to it, leading them to sin.

4. Disowning and Abandoning Parents:-

Anas al-Juhani said that his father narrated that the Prophet
(sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Verily, on the Day of
Resurrection, Allah has slaves whom He will neither speak nor purify
nor look at." He was asked: "Who are they, O Allah's Messenger?" He
said: "He who disowns and abandons his parents, he who disowns his
children and he who was granted a favor by a people, but he denied
their favor and disowned them." [Musnad Ahmad]

Refraining from spending on poor parents, forcing them in some cases
to resort to courts so that the judge compels the children to spend
on them is also a form of Uquq. One should remember that he and all
his wealth belong to his father, as in known from the following
Hadeeth. A man said to the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-
sallam) that he had wealth and children, but his father wanted to
use some of his wealth. The Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)
replied: "You and your wealth are your father's." [Ibn Majah]

5. Preferring the wife over the parents is also part of Uquq:-

This has certainly become widespread in the present time. And this
becomes even worse in the case where one prefers his undutiful wife
who tries her best to turn her husband away from his father and
mother.
6. Refraining from visiting the parents :-
Not keeping regular contact with them IS also a type of Uquq. Al-
Bukharee and Muslim narrated that Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu)
said that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)
said: "Allah created all the creatures and when he finished the task
of His creation, Ar-Raham (the womb ties of relationship) said: '(O
Allah) at this place I seek refuge with You from all those who sever
me (sever the ties of relationship).' Allah said: 'Yes. Are you
satisfied that I should hold with him who holds you and sever
connection with him who severs you.' It said: 'I am satisfied.'
Allah said: 'This is yours.' Then Allah's Messenger (sallallahu
alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Recite the verse if you like, 'Would you
then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and
sever your ties of kinship? Such are whom Allah has cursed…"
[Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]

Posted by: Sharique | June 5, 2006

The evil eye

Being jealous is inherent to human nature. Out of this jealousy we often cast, unknowingly, what is known as 'the evil eye' and in the process harm the other.

Elaborating on the evil eye and the Islamic cure for it, Dr. As-Sayed Nuh, professor of Hadith Sciences at Al-Azhar University, issues the following Fatwa:

"Islam draws a Muslim's attention whenever he/she beholds something great. One should say: "Whatever Allah wills is done, no power save with Allah". Allah Almighty says, "If only, when thou enteredst thy garden, thou hadst said: That which Allah wilteth (will come to pass)! There is no strength save in Allah!…" (Al-Kahf: 39)

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is reported to have said: "Upon beholding something attractive, try to recount Allah's glorification by saying, "Allah is Blessed!" or "May Allah bless you!" etc.

Envy and the evil eye have a common factor in breeding contempt and hatred, and showing or feeling resentment of someone's success or advantage. This is what the evil eye normally aims at.

Both are supported by many proofs from revealed texts and reasoning. However, they do not automatically affect a person and can never harm unless Allah wills so. Hence, they shouldn't be a cause of fear or terror to anyone, for supreme power and might are for Almighty Allah alone and He is the Only One we should fear. It is in Him that we should seek protection against Satan and the evil eye.

Moreover, one should never, if they don't have proof, accuse anyone of being envious or evil, for this may result in breeding contempt and discord among people.

As for precautionary measures against envy or the evil eye, one may do the following:

1- Seeking Allah's protection against the evil eye and envy
This can be done by remembering Allah at all times and this is an impenetrable shield against Satan and his devils. Allah says: "Say: I seek refuge in the Lord of Daybreak. From the evil of that which He create. From the evil of the darkness when it is intense. And from the evil of malignant witchcra. And from the evil of the envier when he envieth." (Al-Falaq)

2- Observing piety, showing obedience to Allah and forsaking sinful acts

Allah says, "But if ye persevere and keep from evil their guile will never harm you. Lo! Allah is Surrounding what they do." (Aal-`Imraan:120)

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said to his cousin, `Abdullah bin `Abbas: "Observe Allah's duties and He will protect you; be pious to Allah and He will always support you..."

(This Hadith is classed as authentic by At-Tirmidhi in his book As-Sunan under the chapter "Concerning the Day of Judgment)

3- Demonstrating patience and perseverance

This means that one should never show any sign of being affected by envy, nor should one get overwhelmed with thoughts on it. Rather, one should show patience, for that will definitely drive the envious or evil ones to doom.

In his commentary on the previous issue, Ibn Al-Qayyim states that the third precautionary measure against envy is to show patience rather than waging war against the envious or showing signs of being harmed by them. Nothing grieves or inflicts pain or even doom on the envious or evil one than seeing that his evil act or scheme has not affected the target. This is the effect of patience, reliance on Allah and putting one's trust in Him. Allah says: "That (is so). And whoso hath retaliated with the like of that which he was made to suffer and then hath (again) been wronged, Allah will succour him. Lo! Allah verily is, Mild, Forgiving" (AL-Hajj: 60)

In this Qur'anic verse, we can see that Allah has guaranteed victory for a victim of contempt or hatred, even if he has tried his best to avenge himself of the assailant. This means that a person who shows patience, despite being a victim of hatred and contempt, deserves strong support.

4- Putting one's trust in Allah

This is one of the strong precautionary measures against envy and oppression. Allah says, "And whosoever putteth his trust in Allah, He will suffice him…" (At-Talaq: 3)

5- Sincere repentance to Allah.

If a person remembers the favors Allah has bestowed on him and returns everything that he has wrongfully taken from people with the resolve not to return to such a sin again, this will definitely bring him back to the right path. He will attain Allah's forgiveness and this will drive him away from the evil eye. Allah Almighty says, "And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed." (An-Noor: 31)

6- Demonstrating a "turn the other cheek" gesture

This means that a victim of envy and the evil eye should try to be good to those who envy him or give him the evil eye. He should try to be good to them by speaking kindly, offering them gifts, feeding them and showing that he cares for them, as well as being a friend in need. Allah Almighty says, "The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and thee there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend.‏ But none is granted it save those who are steadfast, and none is granted it save the owner of great happiness." (Fussilat: 34-35)

The point here is that showing good gestures to one's foe can change him from an enemy to a friend.

7- Saying a particular du`a'

This is based on the fact that the Angel Gabriel used to make du`a' upon Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) whenever he became affected with anything.

`A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) says: "Angel Gabriel used to pronounce some words upon the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to relieve his pain. He used to say: "May you get relief from the pain, cured from the disease, and be protected from envy and evil eye by the virtue of Allah's Name." (Reported by Muslim)

Abu Sa`eed also mentions that the Angel Gabriel once came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked him: "Are you affected with something?" The Prophet answered, "Yes". Gabriel said: "May you get relief and be protected from evil by the virtue of Allah's Name." (Reported by Muslim)

8- Washing off the effects of envy

This is done by pouring the water on a person affected with envy and the evil eye.

This is based on the Hadith reported by Abu Umamah, Sahl bin Hunayf on the authority of his father who told him that as they went out one day with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) upon reaching the valley called Al-Harar at Jahfah, Sahl washed himself and appeared as having a very fine figure. This attracted `Amir ibn Rabi`ah to the extent that he actually said: "Wow! What a nice and delicate figure! You look like a charming lady!" Upon uttering this remark, Sahl fell unconscious, and when the people took him to the Prophet, he said: "Do you suspect someone?" "Yes", they replied, "We suspect `Amir ibn Rabi`ah". The Prophet called him and reprimanded him, saying: "Why try to kill your brother in faith? Why not say upon seeing something fascinating: `Allah is Blessed or may Allah bless you…etc?'" To wash off the traces of envy, `Amir was told to wash his face, hands, elbows and thighs, and then to wash his feet and his private parts, over a bowl. Then the contents of this bowl were to be poured over Sahl bin Hunayf, and the bowl turned upside down. Upon doing this Sahl recovered.

(Classed as authentic by Imam Ahmad in Al-Musnad, and by Ibn Majah)

Ibn Al-Qayim commented on this process saying:

"Anyone who denies, mocks or has doubt about the effect of this Prophetic way of healing will never benefit from it. The same applies to anyone who does it in way of trial without full conviction. Why not regard this as part of the privileges in the Islamic perspective instead of condemning it. Medical practitioners acknowledge that in the field of medicine there are some areas that are untouchable and are somehow deemed as very unique."

Ibn Hajar says that the aforementioned process of washing away the effects of envy is meant to be done after being affected with envy.

Islam has also drawn attention to a precaution against that effect. This is what the Prophet means by ordering us to utter Allah's Glorification when we have something good: `Allah is Blessed!' Also we can supplicate for the person by saying: `May Allah bless you!'"

Posted by: Sharique | June 5, 2006

The “Yoga” of Islamic Prayer

The "Yoga" of Islamic Prayer

By Karima Burns, MH, ND

 

Called "one of the oldest systems of personal development encompassing body, mind and spirit" by the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, yoga has become one of the fastest growing health trends today. It has been renowned for centuries for its curative powers of movement. 

Yoga consists of a number of "asnas," or body positions, which one retains for a desired length of time while either reciting "mantras" or breathing in a rhythmic manner. Its benefits have been researched by many doctors who now recommend it to their patients, by many medical schools such as Harvard, and by many foundations such as the Menninger Foundation. 

In fact, yoga has become so popular that secretaries have developed a simplified sitting version that they can do at their desks. The elderly, pregnant women and athletes also have their own versions. 

Interestingly, for the millions of people enrolled in yoga classes, the Islamic form of prayer has provided Muslims for fourteen centuries with some of yoga's same (and even superior) benefits. This simple form of "yoga" offers physical, mental, and spiritual benefits five times a day as Muslims assume certain positions while reciting Qur'an and athkar (remembrances). 

Of course, not all the yoga positions are found in the Islamic prayer. However, hospital researchers have concluded that patients benefit from even a simplified version of yoga, and most hospital yoga programs, such as those at the Spaulding Rehabilitation Center in Massachusetts, consist of only five to seven positions. 

The Muslim prayer has five positions, and they all (as well as the recitations we make while performing the prayer) have a corresponding relationship with our spiritual and mental well being, according to modern scientific research. The benefits of performing specific movements and recitations each day come from the correct rendition of the position or action itself, the length of time the position is held, and from careful and correct recitation techniques.
Each of the five prayer positions has a corresponding yoga position, and the positions together "activate" all seven "chakras" (energy fields) in the body. The idea of activating a chakra may sound linguistically strange, but it is easier to understand once one translates that word into more familiar language. 
Eastern healers believe that each of the chakras correlate to major nerve ganglia that branch forth from the spinal column. Thus, the concept of activating these nerve centers is akin to getting a chiropractic adjustment or installing a medical stimulating device on the spine to correct corresponding bodily malfunctions. 
In layman's terms, the idea of chakras can be understood by thinking about how the sense of "feeling" functions. One notices, when touching any part of the body, that that part responds by being more "awake" and aware. Another part of the body that was not touched, but is along the same nerve pathway, may also respond. 
When a person is sitting, for instance, they may not be thinking about their legs, which are momentarily at rest; however, if someone touches them, they will again be "aware" of them. Chakras work in much the same way. 
Studies have found that varying areas of the body, when activated by touch, movement or thought, evoke specific emotional and physical responses in much the same way that a smile can evoke the feeling of happiness, and actually increase circulation – even if one was feeling sluggish and unhappy before smiling. This is one of the reasons that it is so important to perfectly perform all of the movements of the Islamic prayer, rather than haphazardly rushing through them.
The Takbir and Al Qiyyam together are very similar to the Mountain Pose in yoga, which has been found to improve posture, balance, and self-awareness. This position also normalizes blood pressure and breathing, thus providing many benefits to asthma and heart patients. 
The placement of the hands on the chest during the Qiyyam position are said to activate the solar plexus "chakra," or nerve pathway, which directs our awareness of self in the world and controls the health of the muscular system, skin, intestines, liver, pancreas, gallbladder and eyes. When the hands are held open for du'a, they activate the heart "chakra," said to be the center of the feelings of love, harmony, and peace, and to control love and compassion. It also governs the health of the heart, lungs, thymus, immune system, and circulatory system. 
Muslim researchers have shown that when Muslims recite the Qur'an, old thoughts, feelings, fears and guilt are released or healed, and blood pressure and stress levels are reduced. Virtually all of the sounds of the Arabic language are uttered while reciting Qur'an, creating a balance in all affected areas of the body. 
Some specific sounds, in fact, correspond to major organs in the body. In his research and creation of eurhythmy, Rudolph Steiner (founder of the Waldorf Schools), , found that vibrations made when pronouncing the long vowels, 'A', 'E' and 'U,' stimulated the heart, lungs, and the thyroid, pineal, pituitary, and adrenal glands during laboratory tests.
The position of Ruku is very similar to the Forward Bend Position in yoga. Ruku stretches the muscles of the lower back, thighs, legs and calves, and allows blood to be pumped down into the upper torso. It tones the muscles of the stomach, abdomen, and kidneys. Forming a right angle allows the stomach muscles to develop, and prevents flabbiness in the mid-section. 

This position also promotes a greater flow of blood into the upper regions of body – particularly to the head, eyes, ears, nose, brain, and lungs – allowing mental toxins to be released. Over time, this improves brain function and ones personality, and is an excellent stance to maintain the proper position of the fetus in pregnant women.
The Sujud is said to activate the "crown chakra," which is related to a person's spiritual connection with the universe around them and their enthusiasm for spiritual pursuits. This nerve pathway is also correlated to the health of the brain, nervous system, and pineal gland. Its healthy function balances ones interior and exterior energies. 
In Sujud, we also bend; thus activating the "base chakra," which controls basic human survival instincts and provides essential grounding. This helps to develop levelheaded and positive thinking along with a highly motivated view of life, and maintains the health of the lymph and skeletal systems, the prostate, bladder, and the adrenal glands. We also bend the "sacral chakra" during Sujud, thus benefiting and toning the reproductive organs.
The position of Al Qaadah, (or Julus) is similar to the Thunderbolt Pose in yoga, which firms the toes, knees, thighs, and legs. It is said to be good for those prone to excessive sleep, and those who like to keep long hours. Furthermore, this position assists in speedy digestion, aids the detoxification of the liver, and stimulates peristaltic action in the large intestine.
Last, but not least, the "throat chakra" is activated by turning the head towards first the right and then the left shoulder in the closing of the prayer. This nerve path is linked to the throat, neck, arms, hands, bronchials, and hearing – effecting individual creativity and communication. 

It is believed that a person who activates all seven nerve pathways at least once a day can remain well balanced emotionally, physically and spiritually. Since this is the goal of all sincere Muslims, we all should strive to attain the perfection of stance, recitation, and breathing recommended in the Hadith while performing our prayers – the very same techniques of perfection taught in popular yoga, Tai Chi, and many other exercise classes. 

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