Posted by: Sharique | June 5, 2006

Be Careful about Parents

1. Causing grief and sadness to parents:-
Be Careful about Parents because of a statement or an action: Allah
says:-

And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that
you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them
attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect,
nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour
. (17:23)

Ad-Daylami narrated that Al-Husain Ibn Ali (may Allah be pleased
with him) narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)
said: "Has there been an act of Uquq, less than saying Uff (Fie),
Allah would have disallowed it as well."

Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn al-Aas (radhi allahu anhu) narrated that a man
came to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) to give him the
pledge of allegiance, saying, 'I have come to give you my Bai'ah
(allegiance) to perform Hijrah (migration to al-Medina). However, I
left behind my parents while they were crying." The Prophet
(sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Then go back and make them
laugh as you made them cry." [Musnad Ahmad] Furthermore, Ibn Umar
(radhi allahu anhu) said: "Bringing tears to parents is a part of
Uquq and a major sin." [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

2. Insulting or Cursing one's Parents or somebody else's Parents:-

Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) has cursed him, who
insults parents, he (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Curse be
upon whoever reviles his father, curse be upon whoever reviles his
mother, Curse be upon on whoever slaughters for other than Allah,
Curse be on whoever misguides a blind person on the street, Curse be
on whoever does what the nation of Loot did." [Saheeh al-Jamee
(5767)]

And he (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) also reported to have
said: "From the major sins is a man reviling his parents." We
(Sahabah) said, "O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)
and how does a man revile his parents?" He said: "Yes, reviling a
man's father is reviling your father, and reviling his mother is
reviling your mother." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]

And in another narration, Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-
sallam) replied: "He abuses the father of somebody who, in return,
abuses the former's; he then abuses the mother of somebody who, in
return, abuses his mother." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]
We learn from this Hadeeth that one should not abuse anyone's
parents, because in the event, he is paid in the same coin and he
will be responsible for disgracing his own parents.

3. Practicing Evil in front of Parents:-

One should not practice evil in front of parents, such as abandoning
prayers, smoking, listening to music, watching indecent movies and
other types of immoral acts. These acts anger parents when Allah has
even disallowed even saying Uff to them. If the parents agree with
these acts of their child out of love for him, then the parents will
earn evil deeds. The child will be committing evil for luring his
parents to it, leading them to sin.

4. Disowning and Abandoning Parents:-

Anas al-Juhani said that his father narrated that the Prophet
(sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Verily, on the Day of
Resurrection, Allah has slaves whom He will neither speak nor purify
nor look at." He was asked: "Who are they, O Allah's Messenger?" He
said: "He who disowns and abandons his parents, he who disowns his
children and he who was granted a favor by a people, but he denied
their favor and disowned them." [Musnad Ahmad]

Refraining from spending on poor parents, forcing them in some cases
to resort to courts so that the judge compels the children to spend
on them is also a form of Uquq. One should remember that he and all
his wealth belong to his father, as in known from the following
Hadeeth. A man said to the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-
sallam) that he had wealth and children, but his father wanted to
use some of his wealth. The Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)
replied: "You and your wealth are your father's." [Ibn Majah]

5. Preferring the wife over the parents is also part of Uquq:-

This has certainly become widespread in the present time. And this
becomes even worse in the case where one prefers his undutiful wife
who tries her best to turn her husband away from his father and
mother.
6. Refraining from visiting the parents :-
Not keeping regular contact with them IS also a type of Uquq. Al-
Bukharee and Muslim narrated that Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu)
said that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)
said: "Allah created all the creatures and when he finished the task
of His creation, Ar-Raham (the womb ties of relationship) said: '(O
Allah) at this place I seek refuge with You from all those who sever
me (sever the ties of relationship).' Allah said: 'Yes. Are you
satisfied that I should hold with him who holds you and sever
connection with him who severs you.' It said: 'I am satisfied.'
Allah said: 'This is yours.' Then Allah's Messenger (sallallahu
alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Recite the verse if you like, 'Would you
then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and
sever your ties of kinship? Such are whom Allah has cursed…"
[Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]

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